• Ask only a few, “top” clients for referrals
• Don’t ask and just make a casual comments as we walk a client to the door
• Adopt a hard sell tactic, figuring that we only have one chance to ask

Let’s also remember that we know most referrals occur when you are not with the client (see When do clients give referrals?).  Most referrals occur later, when a client is with a friend that has a problem and your client refers you. So, does this mean we should just give up on asking for referrals?  Absolutely not.

Referral Foundation #2:  It’s not about asking – it’s about discussing referrals.

If most referrals happen when we are not around, it critical we educate our clients about potential referrals to ensure they can spot them on their own.  The good news is that we can dramatically decrease the pressure of talking about referrals with clients because we are going to be having a discussion rather than asking a question.  
Instead of putting clients on the spot for names, let’s approach the situation as an educational opportunity.  So, our referral discussion with a client needs to explain…

1. You are a referrals business.  Don’t assume clients will automatically refer you, even if they are happy.  Customers are busy and many will not know who or how to refer to you.  You need to let me know you are open for new business.
2. Referral is a safe word.  Tell the client that it doesn’t matter if they don’t know anyone to refer to you right now.  If they do, that’s great.  But you’d rather just talk about whom you are best placed to help just in case the client encounters someone like that in the future.
3. It’s not about now.   Ask “Do you mind if we spend a few minutes talking about referrals?” and then have a chat about who you best placed to help, referrals are you getting right now or how you handle any referrals given to you.

Create a relaxed and professional referral process.

This should be a relaxed and comfortable discussion, without too many immediate expectations.  As a result, it should therefore be a discussion you feel you can hold with more clients.  Now compare your two possible approaches…

1. Have this comfortable DISCUSSON with EVERY client and send them away educated about whom to refer to you.
2. Sporadically ASK SELECTED clients for a referral and try every trick in the book to get a referral on the spot.

Which approach is more comfortable, more likely to be used by you and of more interest to your clients?  I know that by taking the first option – a comfortable referral discussion - you will create an army of potential referees…and also uncover more than a few instant referrals along the way.

Do you have a good script or favourite language you use to start a referral discussion?  Send them to me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and I’ll share back with you some of the best I have heard in your industry.