Clients hate referrals.  They feel used.  They feel uncomfortable.  It’s cheesy.

All these thoughts frequently attack the confidence of a Professional Services adviser.  With little referral training or access to referral statistics, many advisers fear the worst.  Yet do these fears stack up in reality?  Let’s examine the evidence.

Clients dislike your approach, not the concept of referrals.

Is it “referrals” or the way you go about it?  My personal experience says it’s the approach.  The feedback from many advisers and clients supports this.  For example, a survey by Adviser Impact (Economics of Loyalty, 2008) revealed that on average clients ranked themselves 3.9 out of 5.0 on a scale of referral comfort – and that included the rankings of disgruntled clients.

Clients, however, hate being put on the spot…and often that’s what you do with referrals.  Out of the blue you ambush the client about referrals.  Naturally the client goes defensive.  But it’s not the concept of referrals that is the problem – it’s the way you are bringing it up.  Put a client on the spot about any topic and they react badly.

Lesson – Referral is a safe word when clients are prepared for it.  So ensure your referral process gives clients plenty of warning, eases them into the discussion, asks for their permission and gives them a non-pressurised experience.

Clients are people – people like to network and socialise.

Where did you get those shoes?  Seen any good movies?  What school does your child go to?  Would you recommend your make of car? Who built your house?

People – humans – ask for and give referrals every day, all the time.  Word of mouth and referrals are critical tools for social interaction.  Clients are people too!  I know it’s a shock, but your clients ask for and give referrals ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY.  It’s quite natural.

Lesson – Go WITH the natural process of referrals, rather than trying to force the issue.  Work to educate clients about ideal referrals rather than force their hand to give referrals on-the-spot.

Clients love to help and love to be asked for advice.

Advisers talk about “relationships” with clients all the time.  Yet rarely will an adviser consider asking a client for their opinion about the adviser’s business.  Be it via a survey, over lunch, during a review process or in a referral discussion, most advisers feel they will project an image of “weakness” if they “let on” to the client that they would appreciate some advice.

This doesn’t mean I recommend using the old line “I need help building my business” when starting a referral discussion.  Quite the opposite – this isn’t about desperation, it’s about confidence.  Confidence in yourself and your business.  Confidence that you do indeed have a “relationship” with your client.

Asking for help is a sign of high self esteem.  And clients LOVE to be asked for their opinion.  They feel flattered or honoured.  It strengthens the relationship by bringing them into your “Inner Circle”.  It lowers barriers to discussion.

Lesson – When prepared and in an open discussion about referrals, you will find clients are more than willing to have the discussion.

Referral Foundation #3:  Clients are comfortable with referrals, just don’t put them on-the-spot.

Prepare, relax, educate and enjoy your referral discussions…and your clients will to.  Have you had a great or unexpected referral experience with a client?  Email me your story at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and I’ll share back with you some of the best ways I have heard to relax a client (and yourself) into a referral discussion.