I was recently asked to give a talk to post-graduate Communications students at the University of Queensland on the broad topic of “Communication in business”.  In particular, the Professor wanted business people to talk freely about communication in the “real world of business” and allow students to discuss the application of their theoretical studies of communication.

In preparing for this discussion, I was forced to give structure to some of my own personal communication beliefs – to see what my Mantra of Communication was.  I thought I would share four parts of that Mantra here:  linear questioning, self-control in response, having an opinion and brutal honesty.

Linear Questioning

Every Adviser should be an expert in asking questions of their clients.  One technique I have subscribed to over the years is what I call Linear Questioning (but it’s also called a variety of other names – “Five Whys” being one of the most popular).  All too often I see Advisers ask questions to a client, receive a standard or superficial response, and then move into a new topic for questioning.  A whole bunch of questions may be answered, but it results in a whole bunch of surface level answers.  Advisers who routinely follow a “Fact Find” or “Client Questionnaire” can often fall into this outcome.

With this approach you learn symptoms, not problems.  To get to the problems, you need to stay on-topic with your questions for longer, continually probing until you either uncover the underlying problems or have thoroughly explored the topic.  This linear approach to questioning – repeated questions on the same topic – uncovers more detail, prevents you from making assumptions based on surface-level answers, gives the client more opportunities to examine the topic themselves and gives you better self-control in your responses (see next point).  It means, perhaps, covering fewer topics in the same time, but covering them in more depth.

Self-control in Responses

After the questions, come the answers.  Ever find yourself rehearsing your answers to a client’s question in your head even when the Client is still speaking?  Ever try to impress the client by immediately answering their question, without any sort of pause after they have finished speaking?  I get this approach – and still catch myself doing it at times – as it can feel like you are demonstrating confidence and expertise to the Client.  You know your stuff and can’t wait to prove it to the Client.

What I have learnt, however, is that from the Client’s side, it can often come across that your answers lack consideration.  It can appear like you just prattled off a rehearsed answer.  Some Clients may even wonder if you were fully listening to their response.  This lack of Self-Control – your ability NOT to immediately respond – can be a killer in effective communication.  Advisers with high Self-Control will listen fully to the Client’s answer, just in case something is different or unexpected.  They avoid assuming they know everything the client is going to say.  They will maintain a linear questioning model and ask more questions (clarifying, probing, understanding).  They will pause and demonstrate consideration of the situation before suggesting solutions.

Having an Opinion

So, after the Linear Questioning and Self-Control, it’s time to answer.  At this point, I often see of Advisers give a hedged answer – “You could do A or B, and here’s the pros and cons of both – which do you like?”.  It’s as if the Adviser doesn’t want to have an opinion, just in case the Client doesn’t agree.  In the long-term, however, the best Advisers – with the best Clients and the best relationships – are the Advisers who have an opinion.  It doesn’t mean they are opinionated.  It means they are not afraid to have a view and defend it.

I am yet to meet a Client who wants “options” from their Adviser.   Clients want, and will pay for, solutions – outcomes – opinions.  Clients want to be told what to do to fix their problems.  Many Advisers I observe, however, are reluctant to take a position until they understand the Client’s view first.  I feel this prevents your Client relationships from ever truly blossoming, as the Client doesn’t get much chance to follow your lead and understand what exactly you stand for.  Without that, building trust is tricky.

Total Honesty

As you many know, I worked in Investment Banking for 12 years.  I learnt a lot about ethics during this period and have since interviewed many Advisers and Clients on the topic of “honesty” in a relationship.  Never once have I heard an Ideal Client tell me they prefer anything other than total honesty.  Yes, there will be some Clients who complain when you tell them the brutal truth, but they are not Ideal Clients.  Ideal Clients – loyal, fee paying, referring – seek and accept total truth from their Advisers.  It’s a criteria of an Ideal Client.

I will often see Advisers, however, soften the truth, leave out hard parts (or even critical parts) or even tell little “white lies” when talking to Clients.  Perhaps it’s to avoid confrontation, to “win” a new client or avoid a difficult conversation.  One must wonder, however, if that’s what it takes to win or keep the Client, then perhaps the Client is not worth keeping.  My best Client relationships have always been the ones who respond well to my honest opinions.  They may not always agree with me, but they accept that I will tell them when I disagree or when I feel a decision they are making will not lead to the best training outcome.

Deep, linear questioning.  Careful self-control in responding.  Clear views and opinions on recommendations.  Honesty on all fronts, even if uncomfortable.  I don’t always get it right, but together these four steps have formed the basis of my own personal Communication Mantra with clients.  Have thoughts on any of this or your own communication rules?  Email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .